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Store Story: Offsides In the Produce Aisle

February 7, 2011

Superbowl Sunday. Not a day I would normally venture into a grocery store if I had a choice.  I had planned to get there after the game started, but I couldn’t work the timing right.  So I was doing my weekly Sunday shopping in and amongst thems that don’t normally set foot in a grocery store.  Both men and women…this was equal opportunity chaos.  But I was expecting it and soldered on, crossings things off my list, while dodging and weaving around people looking for salsa among the cereal and roasted green chiles in the canned fruit section.   I was just about done, picking out a bunch of bananas, when a trio of If It’s Not A Football Jersey I Don’t Wear It Dudes made their entrance into the produce section.  The first Dude came ahead of the other two…a sort of scout, I suppose.  He waivered a bit and then started picking up oranges and tried to hold more than 3 in his hands, not noticing the plastic bags in the holder just to his left.  The other two arrived and reprimanded him for looking at individual oranges. “Dude,” one said, “aren’t there, like, bags of oranges?”  So with that brilliant direction, all three notice the small bags of clementine oranges.  One of them, reaching for a bag, must have come across an overly ripe one and squeezed it, because next thing I heard was a squeal that would have done a 5 year old proud.  All three of them scampered away from the oranges as if they were radioactive.  It seems that these guys should stick with football, as the potentially squishy world of citrus fruit is just too darn scary.



From → Not Bus Stories

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