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Bus Story: Shh, You’ll Wake The Dead

November 16, 2010

I’m a scant 10 minutes later than usual and was waiting alone at my stop when the bus fairly flew by at top speed. I whistled, waved and yelled and managed to get him to stop. Driver says he didn’t see me. I’m not a small guy, but I guess the green and brown I’m wearing made me blend into the foliage. Except the foliage is rust and golden and practically nonexistent. Try again Not Quite Driver Dude. Not an auspicious start to the day. Once I get settled, I notice a woman putting on her makeup. She’s using a wee hand compact and had just finished the blush. As she moved on to the lipstick, the bus hit a major bump, and I waited for the classic lipstick-up-the-cheek move. Nope. She’s good. Unfazed. Next is eyeliner and there are more bumps. If one hits at the wrong time, that pencil is going through her eye. Then I realize that she’s a zombie – a very high-functioning one. That’s why she’s got so much base and far too much blush. If the pencil went into her eye, she would just quickly remove it and hope no one notices. It occurs to me that the walking dead are probably more common on the ole 54 than we’d like to think. The city probably needs to add a “No biting the other passengers” sign to the other rules.


From → Bus Stories

  1. Darn, I was hoping for a Priscilla Queen of the Desert moment with the lipstick.

  2. Dan permalink

    The Bus Zombies are becoming a theme. You need some way to check before accidentally sit next to one. Can you use mirror like for Vampires, or do you just go by the smell of rotting flesh?

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